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'Cummings is always going' – The Diary of a Nobody is The Diary of Boris Johnson

Blog | By Stephen Cox | May 24, 2020


From 'The Diary of a Nobody' by George And Weedon Grossmith written 1888 (or is it from Boris Johnson's diary 2020?)

"Tradesmen still calling; Carrie* being out, I arranged to deal with Horwin, who seemed a civil butcher with a nice clean shop. In the evening, Cummings ** unexpectedly dropped in to show me a meerschaum pipe he had won in a raffle in the City, and told me to handle it carefully, as it would spoil the colouring if the hand was moist.

He said he wouldn’t stay, as he didn’t care much for the smell of the paint, and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don’t often make jokes “A very extraordinary thing has struck me.”

“Something funny, as usual,” said Cummings.

“Yes,” I replied; “I think even you will say so this time. It’s concerning you both; for doesn’t it seem odd that Gowing's always coming and Cummings always going? *** Carrie went into fits of laughter, and as for myself, I fairly doubled up in my chair, till it cracked beneath me. I think this was one of the best jokes I have ever made."

"I woke up with a most terrible headache. I could scarcely see, and the back of my neck was as if I had given it a crick. I thought first of sending for a doctor; but I did not think it necessary. When up, I felt faint, and went to Brownish’s, the chemist, who gave me a draught. So bad at the office, had to get leave to come home. Went to another chemist in the City, and I got a draught. Brownish’s dose seems to have made me worse; have eaten nothing all day. To make matters worse, Carrie, every time I spoke to her, answered me sharply—that is, when she answered at all.In the evening I felt very much worse again."****

*Carrie (Symonds)?

**(Dominic) Cummings?

***Now there's the news that Dominic Cummings was interviewed by the police in early April after 'Gowing' to Durham...

****Writer has a virus?

Life imitating Art?

More things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio......?