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The joys of ageing – Part II. By Mary Clifton

Blog | By Mary Clifton | Apr 25, 2020

Angelo Caroselli: Allegory of Youth and Old Age

More thoughts on the Joys of ageing (so far)…

Where did those brow bones go, your eyelids look like they just can’t be bothered!

And let’s not mention necks, that’s another thing that metamorphoses overnight;

You say goodbye to fertility with an equal sense of loss and liberation but your

tummy is now seriously eyeing up your upper thighs as it’s next resting place;

And your thighs are now squaring up with your knees, their main mission to give birth to multiple bumps;

You have swapped temperature tolerance with your husband- now he turns up the heating;

You have progressed from books to E readers to Audible, when did books get so heavy?

Back Zips are a thing of the past, over the head- easy is the way to go ;

You are considering creating a collage of all those lovely heels you have - never to be worn again but you can’t bare to let them go completely;

Ten thousand steps a day is a long redundant goal, it’s now two thousand on a really good day;

Your gym clothes are converted to daily sports- chic, Your circuit training is now an exercise sheet and your Personal Trainer is now a Physiotherapist.

In searching for new wheels, you find yourself including mobility scooters!

You daily mantra becomes the advice an eighty old retired Head Teacher once gave you- “Don’t put on too much weight, never go grey and always walk with your head above your bottom”

You don’t recognise yourself as the person you were not so long ago. Fibromyalgia means every action uses energy you no longer have.


Regardless of the war raging against your body, you still think you are 25;

In your head you still dance on a table - no not table dancing!

You are still an intrepid adventurer- you’ve done a Zip slide and a tree walk before, so now you are considering a parachute jump, but fear it won’t hold your weight.

You still have that teen spirit but now it is about 40% proof and goes well with tonic and a slice of lemon please!

You still hunt for treasure and revel in finding a penny or an odd shaped stone that, depending on how you look at it, could be a Roman effigy;

You still love kicking up the autumn leaves and looking for conkers, more for keeping the spiders away than fighting these days..but you and your husband still have a go! what safety glasses ?

You fill your garden with scented plants, some of which actually survive, and come alive with bees and butterflies in the summer.

Your garden welcomes gnomes, elves and faerie folk, it plays music when the wind blows and every evening it lights up and the flowing water of the little pond fountain brings calm and a soothing rhythm.

Every action is an achievement - cue applause!

Laughter is a potent medicine and the more you have the more your spirits lift and you find yourself thinking …..maybe I can still do that parachute jump!

Mary Clifton age 61and ¾